free beer!

so we're three weeks into 2011 and with this writing i've managed to maintain the productivity levels of my lone new year's resolution: one blog post per week. it's been a grueling hell-ride so far and i'm not sure how i've accomplished so much in so little time. (hold the applause, please.)

statistics show that more than 30 percent of resolutions are broken within the first week - so i'm doing OK so far. but i have to admit that it took some serious soul searching and completely redefining my interpretation of work-ethic to realize this lofty achievement.

the blue13satellite exists to serve a creative community that shares a common desire to take our talents from under-appreciated hobby to well-recognized cash cow. (or a slightly more modest version thereof.) however, the intrawebs is loaded with publications that undoubtedly serve this need more efficiently (read: better) than our lowly blog. so it is with a certain level of resignation that i say if the satellite's "community" remains an army of one (or four, according to our illustrious list of followers), so be it.

if i've learned anything over the years it's this: few things motivate people like free booze. and while i won't be giving away any beer-of-the-month club memberships anytime soon, the satellite is going to try and do something nearly as cool: free beer reviews. ha. admittedly, posting beer reviews is substantially less cool than actually offering free beer. (see last sentence in paragraph above.)

so... "what's the point?" you ask. a valid question, as i often ask myself the same thing. well, we've all heard it before: to do a job right you must have the right tools. and it is with this time-tested adage that i reveal the satellite's newly acquired hardware on our quest to become a slightly-less irrelevant blog:

we've received an amazing set of glassware designed to accommodate even the most discerning beer drinker. so it is with great pleasure that i now say... let the beer reviews commence. (thank you santa - even if you're like, a month late.)

i imagine that if one were to return to our humble blog in the future for beer analysis, you may already know what purpose each of the glasses pictured above serve. for those of you less acquainted with the subtleties of glassware, here's a simple explanation of each vessel's intended use (from left to right).

mug (also known as seidel or stein): heavy, sturdy, large and with a handle, the mug is a serious piece of glassware that you can clink together with more confidence than other types of glasses while holding loads of beer. the seidel is a german mug; a stein is the stone equivalent that traditionally features a lid -- the use of which dates back to the black plague to prevent flies from falling in your beverage.

types of beer served in a mug: american ale, lager, porter and stout; bock, bitter, pilsner and oktoberfest.


stange (slender cylinder): a traditional german glass meaning "stick," these tall, slender cylinders are used to serve more delicate beers, amplifying malt and hop nuances. if you don't have a stange you can use a tom collins glass as an acceptable substitute.

types of beer served in a stange: altbier, bock, czech pilsener, faro, gose, gueuze, kölsch, lambic, rauchbier and rye.


weizen glass: few things bring more enjoyment to a beer knerd than serving a weizenbier (wheat beer) in an authentic bavarian weizen glass. with tall thin walls these glasses showcase a beer's color and allows room for a luxurios head associated with the style. don't bother with a lemon garnish (or orange, blue moon fans) as the citris will kill the head. the glass is specifically produced to take on volume and head, while locking in the banana-like aromas associated with the style.

types of beer served in a weizen glass: american dark and pale wheat ales, dunkelweizen, gose, hefeweizen, kristalweizen and weizenbock.


tulip: a stemmed glass with a blossoming top to form a lip which supports a beer's head. the  glass' reservoir-like body helps capture and enhance flavor while inducing large foamy heads.

beers served in a tulip: american and belgian IPAs and ales, biere de garde, gueuze, lambic, quadrupel, saison and scotch ale.


snifter: traditionally used for brandy and cognac, these wide-bowled and stemmed glasses feature a tapered mouth which is perfect for capturing the aromas of strong ales. volumes range, but they all provide room to swirl and agitate a beer's flavor and character.

beers served in a snifter: barleywine, american double IPAs and double stouts, strong ale, belgian dark and pale ales, braggot, eisbock, import stouts, gueuze, lambic, quadrupel, imperial stout, scotch ale.


oversized wine glass: an oversized 22oz. wine glass is most suitable for serving belgian ales. its size allows for headspace while the open bowl creates a delightful nose. many enlightened beer bars are now using sophisticated oversized wine glasses. (and it makes for an interesting conversational piece.)

beer served in an oversized wine glass: american and belgian black, IPA, stout and wild ales, belgian dark ales, biere de garde, braggot, eisbock, barleywine, meade (honeywine) and wheatwine.


* special thanks to the beer advocate for some great information.

i'll let you know next week how our web traffic goes to see if that headline indeed motivates us creatives.

-mc